Lonely Valentine's Day :'(

I feel alone... I miss you every moment but I'm all alone...
When you find me, you ask how's my study... When you don't ask me how am I. Can there be one day you would leave everything out but me...? I miss you... You and you alone... You in the best way... Without affected by anything... Without you wanting to know my progress... But only wanting to know me... Just you and me alone... Not affected by anything... Anyone... I miss you in this Valentine's... Cause you're my Valentine... My dear sweet Valentine. Day is passing... Day is ending... It's another year to go for another day like this... I just hope you'll be there in this very day... 365 days to go.

Mistakes and weaknesses

Many people see others mistakes... But not their own...

Talking about experience, it's always about I'm the only one wrong... We are growing each day, shouldnt we be learning from what others are telling us? If I'm learning and I know my mistakes... But when I point out the other party's, should the other party be also accepting them and tying to change them instead of pointing everything back at me as though you are of innocence...

I guess sometimes people just have to high of a ego to not accept what is said about them... The ego, the pride, ... All the same. 

There are times each person in a relationship should lead... One can't just want to lead all the way because the one thinks the other partner is weaker... It's about convering each other's weaknesses not only to make things work better but to teach one another to be better... It's not about being completely dominant or to dominate the whole thing.

Always during the holidays

At the end it's always during the holidays someone close betrays my feelings... It's again rejected... Again left to pass. Sometimes people don't notice the little things you to for them when they only expect big things... While the little ones don't matter to them any longer... It's like only wanting what they want instead of what the giver can give. Just like saying I want money from the giver but then the giver is unable to give money.

Letter to God 1

"Oh Lord, must I continue my life this way? Who can understand me well enough but you? You know my heart, you know my struggle, you know my cry deep within me that no one else does. I know my ways are wrong yet many a times, I take your grace and mercy for granted. Forgive me. Help me of my laziness, help me of my weakness, help me of more habits, help me of my life... and make me someone that glorifies you. Amen."

Reasons

There are times you ask me why I don't like it when you ask other people or go out with someone to get something...
Well, the reason for that is maybe I just don't wanna feel inferior or just helpless.
The feeling of unable to do anything for you is like i'm incapable to be the best for you...
I just wanna be that someone that can be there for you, to help you in every way that I could...
I just want the every opportunity to help you... to let you remember me... to have the chance to show that i care...

The reason I was mad or upset when you said you'll ask someone else to help yesterday is because I wanted to help... I just don't want someone to take away my opportunity to be there for you...
Maybe my ways are just wrong... maybe sometimes... all I want is to show you that I love you... but then i guess sometimes my priorities are just wrong... I'm truly sorry.

Punching bag

I guess I'm that punching bag for everyone... even the closest and dearest of friends...


Must I be accused...?
For not loving, for not caring, for not being there, for everything I've done with love and care...
You said I don't love or care... but do you know what is my feeling in my heart...?
You know that you going away hurts me, yet you must mention it...
You know that saying that I don't care, but yet I still must be said of it...
Its not about I don't, its about the perspective you look from...
After all... I'm a punching bag... and I'll be staying that way... cause I know it'll hurt me more when I react...
Sorry for reacting...
I'll never react to things you said again... I'll just be there... listening... nodding... watching... and I'll just say yes or no... or being all quiet.

At the final words...

Dear ...,
You know who you are... I'm sorry. Sorry that... I'm that bad. I thought I was ok... at least acceptable... but it seems... I'm just the worst of all guys you'll ever have to meet.
Despite everything, one thing for sure that I do know... is that I really do love you regardless of what you think... the fact is- I do.
I don't know what I'm not open enough... cause despite of whatever openness you tell me... I still accepted you, because I see a hope. As I hope you already know... I wouldn't be with someone unless I want to marry that person. I do not and have never force you to convert but I'm just so sorry that sometimes that I can be so passionate.
I'm passionate because I see what Christ can bring into one's life. But I do respect you and your religion. Even when I pray, I don't ask you to be converted, I pray that you'll accept it by your own in time and not because of me. I don't want it... cause you'll never be happy.
I'm very sorry of everything... of every trouble that I've caused you.
Sorry to waste those sacrifice of yours where you are forced to lie to your parents.
Waiting for me by delaying your graduation.
Wasting your time when we go out all the time.
All the emotional thoughts and problems.
I appreciate them and I truly thank you and apologize for so much of your sacrifice.
I know all I gave you is misery and more misery.
I'm sorry for everything.
I'll treasure all that you have given me as memories... forever and ever.
I thank God I've met you and got to share so many memories together but I just hope I could have left you a better experience with me.
Anyways, I'm going now... take care and be happy always. God bless.